I'm writing from my studio in the Bronx right now -- we can't be on the island on weekends yet. I'm working on editing videos and sketching and thinking thinking thinking. I think something might be developing out of it all. This is one of the first times I've worked in this way -- producing and developing the idea at the same time. Producing and thinking at once; laboring and reflecting. Well, not really at once, but alternating at a faster rate than usual. Or blurring the definitions of concept and fabrication more. I think that's what this blog is.
G texted me just as I was editing some video. I had been thinking of her so much today, because I feel like I really don't quite understand what I'm doing, and I think she could help me understand. So I called her, and we made a date to talk tomorrow morning. She makes me so happy! It was great to hear her voice. I told her I was so sorry for not having called. She said: "I know you're very busy over there in Jessica-land." And I was saying something about how I make myself feel so busy, like everything's a crisis, and then I can't call anyone or see anyone. I told her I was having trouble, in my life and the piece, with real-time communication. She said: "Having trouble with real-time communication! It sounds like you know exactly what you're doing." Thank you, girl. You just gave me my energy back.
It's a quiet spring night, and the air is the way it is on quiet spring nights. I'm feeling some joy in this work right now. It's one of the best feelings in life -- when you can work with a sense of confidence, or security, or limitation, rather than under duress and with infinite possibilities and endless tasks ahead. I was listening to my interview with Eddie today. I asked him how he felt and he said: "I feel like a slave. A free slave, but a slave."
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