It's another very cold day out here. I really want the windows open, but I think I'm going to have to close them. I want the smell of the sea to come it, but it never does anyway. It's gorgeous out, though, except for it being unseasonably cold.
I feel like I don't have that much to say -- Im ready to get to work. I want to start building, but I don't have the materials or help I need. I lost my glasses, so I can't drive a truck out here with the drywall and wood anyway. And on top of it, I just stopped taking my seizure medicine, so I really shouldn't drive until I know I'm ok without it. And that will take a month. I've been thinking a lot about the practice of medicating. People are very opinionated about it, that's for sure. I was sitting at a starbucks on the upper east side yesterday, next to two guys who, well, didn't fit in on the upper east side. Anyway, one of them was going on and on about how all the women over 30 in New York City are on psych meds. He was a total asshole, but he might have had a point, or something resembling a point. And he definitely didn't like women. Or psych meds. Or homosexuals, or white people, or homeless people. Or anyone, really. He was hard to sit next to. But, I was thinking - what is it in our culture, especially here in this city, that makes us so in need of calibration? And what makes the difference between being sent away for "correction" and doing it internally? Some of the answers seem obvious, but what I've really been trying to understand is what it means to quarantine or expel someone, or some problem. And, more so, what it means to draw attention to that practice, that problem, that someone.
Oh! There is a barge filled with garbage passing my window. It looks so cool.
Anyway, yeah. I'm thinking about how so much of my work has been angry and violent and about all the awful things is society. And I'm trying to understand what it means to show that to people, and why I want to. Which is sort of the inverse of expulsion. And if, perhaps, there's some other way.
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